Discussion Facilitator

Discussion Faciliator

~ April, 16th, 2014

Meaghan Ballanger

Discussion Question 1:

In Nana's swelling situation (her pregnancy) with Jalil, what do you think would have been the honorable thing to do? (Stand up for her, on Jalil's part or kill her, on her father's part) Or was there another solution?

Possible Responses/Ideas I'm Looking For:

(1) This could have been avoided if Jalil had not slept with Nana in the first place.

(2) Jalil should have stood up for her.

Discussion Question 2:

Do you think that through Nana's verbal abuse, that that is having or has had a lasting impact on how Mariam sees herself?

Possible Responses/Ideas I'm Expecting:

Yes, it does have a lasting impact on our lives. What people say has the opportunity to stay with us for the rest of our lives. It only has an impact on us if we accept the hurtful words or slurs as truth. We can overcome and defy those words if we refuse to accept them.

Discussion Question 3:

Do you think that Nana really loved her daughter or was she selfish, even in her death?

Possible Responses/Answer Ideas:

Yes, Nana loved her daughter, but in the end she was selfish in her love of Mariam (taking her own life and not thinking of the pain and hurt she would cause her daughter).

No, Nana didn't love her daughter. She was verbally abusive and hurtful.

Discussion Question #4:

Do you think that there is any love in Rasheed and Mariam's marriage or is it only out of convenience?

Possible Responses:

It is out of convenience and Rasheed doesn't really love Mariam.

Discussion Question #5

When Mariam finds a pornographic magazine in Rasheed's drawer she dismisses it as him just being a guy. Is she right in doing so? If not, is this an indication of his actual perception of women?

Possible Group Responses:

No, she is not right in doing so because so matter your gender, or your marital status, it is defiling and devaluing to look at pornography. This is an indication of his true nature because in looking at those things he is objectifying women.

~ April, 21st, 2014

Abigail Burns

Discussion Question 1:

What do you think about Rasheed being upset with Mariam because she cant have children? 

Possible Responses/Ideas I'm Looking For:

It is very unreasonable for Rasheed to be taking it out on Mariam. In most circumstances couples are upset and saddened by the news that they cannot have children. However it is not Mariam's fault that she can't bring back the son that Rasheed lost. It is understandable for Rasheed to be disappointed since he so badly wanted a little boy to influence and father however, neglecting and pushing Mariam away is not the appropriate thing to do.

Discussion Question 2:

Why do you think Forbia decided to open up to Lalia after the death of Ahmad and Noor? 

Possible Responses/Ideas I'm Expecting:

(1) Is hurting and needs someone to talk to 

(2) Lalia is the only child she has left

(3) Wants Lalia to know that she cares, but is struggling

Discussion Question 3:

Why do you think Hakim (Lalia's father) insists that she goes to school rather than marry young?

Possible Responses/Answer Ideas:

• (1) Hakim wants his daughter to make a living for herself, and not have to rely on a man to provide
• (2) Sees women that are restricted to only being the housewife, wants a better life for his daughter. 

Discussion Question #4:

What similarities have you seen with Lalia and Mariam's relationships with their mothers? 

Possible Responses:
Both girls resent their mothers, but love them unconditionally.
Mariam resents her mothers decision to not let her get an education and also for speaking badly of Jalil.
Lalia resents her mother for isolating herself from her family and the world.
However both of the girls, refuse to give up on their mothers.
-Personal suffering is a theme which distracts Nana and Farbia's motherly affection. Neither one of them can set aside their misery, which affects how their daughter sees themselves.

Discussion Question #5

What do you think will happen with Farbia and Hakim's broken relationship?

Possible Group Responses:
-Awesome to see the love that Hakim has for Farbia although she is hurting.
-Awful that they had to mourn separately
-Good example for Laila of the love that her father has for Farbia even though she doesn't show her love back to him 

~ April 24, 2014
Amanda Lewis

Discussion Question 1:
What do you think about Laila and Tariq's sudden romance? Do you think that what they did was justified/acceptable for their situation? Why?

Possible Responses/Ideas I'm Looking For:
- That it was brought on by the thought of death because of the war; they wanted to make the most of what they had then and there
- With the thought that they would never see each other again, it was understandable, even if it made their goodbye much harder on both of them. It was evident however that they really loved each other

Discussion Question 2:
By the way that Rasheed responded to the news of Tariq's hospitalization and death, how do you think Laila will be treated by Rasheed in their marriage? Even if he thinks she is prettier, will he treat her better than Mariam or the same?

Possible Responses/Ideas I'm Expecting:
- That he also sees her as an object, and is unconcerned with her emotions; he "sympathized" with her upon hearing the news of Tariq's death by talking smack about politicians and swearing. That is not what a person in grief needs
- It seemed staged, as if he was putting on a front of rude and little "empathy" and "concern"

Discussion Question 3:
How did Aziza bring Laila and Mariam to finally open up to each other?

Possible Responses/Answer Ideas:
- Aziza took an immediate liking to Mariam and softened her heart
- This caused Mariam to want to give Laila her own unused baby girl clothes to help
- That act of kindness on Mariam's part and gratitude of Laila's led to an opening of hearts and a friendship

Discussion Question 4:
When Laila starts calling Mariam "aunt" when talking to Aziza, and Aziza openly adores Mariam, her heart is transformed. Why do you think babies and infants have such a staggering power to heal the heart?

Possible Responses:
- They have and pass no judgments on people
- They are not guarded because of past hurts
- Are vulnerable, so when you hold them or they come to you willingly, you want to just take care of, love and protect them

Discussion Question 5:
What do you think about Laila's and Mariam's plans to run away? What do you think Mariam's choice will be?

Possible Group Responses:
- Good idea, but very risky due to all the oppression
- Mariam will say yes, because she has found a connection with Laila and Aziza that she so values
- Thinks of the life she dreamed of having when she was young and hopes that this could be her chance to have it


May 1st, 2014
Mary Soppitt

Question 1: What do you think drove Mariam to murder Rasheed? Why didn't she do it earlier?

Response/Ideas:

-Mariam murdered Rasheed because she realized he was going to kill Laila

-She was tired of how she'd been treated and finally wanted to be incharge of her destiny

-She couldn't stand to watch him take Laila away from Aziza 

-She didn't do it earlier because she still had Laila but Rasheed was killing her

-She didn't have the courage earlier or the motive

Question 2: Why do you think Mariam sacrificed her life for the others?

Response/Ideas:

-she saw more potential for Laila than herself

-she knew there was no other way, it was either her or all of them going down

-Mariam knew Laila was inlove with Tariq 

-Mariam had fallen inlove with her friendship with Laila and Aziza and wanted a future for them

Question 3: If Rasheed had come home while Tariq was still with his wife, what would he have done to Tariq?

Response/Ideas:

-beat him up

-had him arrested

-punished his wife even more

Question 4: Do you think Mariam had a fulfilled life? Do you think she was pleased with how it ended?

Response/Ideas:

I think Mariam made the best of the situation she was given. At the end, when she kills Rasheed, she finally makes her own decision to do so. She also makes the decision to save Laila and her family which gives her a sense of fulfillment.

Question 5: Do you think Laila gets closure on everything that happened in her past life once she goes to visit Mariam's child hood home?

Response/Ideas:

I think Laila gets some closure on what happened to Mariam but not total closure. I think the birth of her child will bring her full closure, especially if it's a girl and she can name it Mariam.

April 29, 2014

~ Daniela Campbell

Discussion Question 1: 

In chapter 27, Rasheed, Mariam and Laila go out to celebrate to Taliban taking over but come back with mixed emotions. Do you think that if the government had different rules the woman would have successfully ran away?

Possible Responses/ Ideas:

Yes, I think they would because the government made the rule of woman not allowed to be without a male escort so because they were alone it was the mans job to hand them over to the authorities. So he either did nt get in trouble or had the feeling of being just. 

Discussion Question 2:

Do you think the new rules the Taliban enforces has gotten worse then the old rules or better?

Possible Responses/ Ideas:

The rules have gotten much worse due to the fact that the Taliban leaders have no care for women's welfare, they also don't want anyone to have their own thinking.

Discussion Question 3:

What would Laila have done differently if she new Tariq was alive and not dead?

Possible Responses/ Ideas:

She wouldn't have married Rasheed, she would have gone to find him because at that time women were allowed to go out by themselves. So she wouldn't have been so restricted. But at the same time how could Laila have risked her baby if she went away, she could have gotten hurt. 

Discussion Question 4:

Knowing about Rasheed's nature to cause violence was it surprising to see him enjoying watching the punishments taking place or did you expect him to enjoy it?

Possible Responses/ Ideas:

All the laws were in Rasheed's favor so how could he not enjoy what he was seeing. It did not surprise me that he would enjoy such punishments because in his own way he already enjoyed beating Laila and Mariam, so why wouldn't he enjoy watching someone else beat a person innocent or otherwise. It was about how much power a person had over another and in a way watching it made Rasheed feel more powerful, almost like he was high, high on his own feeling of power.

Discussion Question 5:

Do you think Laila was right in not aborting her baby? Do you think she was able to thwart Rasheed in a way?

Possible Responses/ Ideas:

Even though Laila would not have benefitted if the child was a girl, the chances that the baby being a boy were 50/50. Rasheed no matter what would have had hope that the baby was a boy, so he would have kept Laila from harms way for the nine months. This benefits Laila because now she wouldn't be abused but at the same time that left Mariam to be Rasheed's punching bag. But with the chances that this baby is a boy how can Laila take the chance that she could kill her child when she values the life of humans and innocents in general. So I think she was right in keeping her child because she kept to her morals strong even though she could have thwarted Rasheed in killing the baby.